Recreational Surgery
Your One-Stop Source for Painful and Unnecessary Surgical Procedures
WE CAN HELP YOU WITH ANY OF YOUR AILMENTS!
ITCH • TWITCH • WELTS • WARTS • PIMPLES • NITS • SCABS • SCARS • SORES • BOILS • RASH • GASH • HIVES • CYSTS • CRAMPS • POLYPS • BLISTERS • BLOTCHES • BUNIONS • BEDSORES • ROPE BURNS • PAPER CUTS • COCKEYE • BLACKHEADS • WHITEHEADS • GAG EASILY • SWOLLEN GLANDS • EYESTRAIN • NAUSEA • PILES • GAS • CRABS • PEG LEG • ABSCESSED TOOTH • PENICILLIN REACTION • PALENESS • NICKS & CUTS • BRITTLE NAILS • WOOZINESS • HOMESICKNESS • FALL DOWN A LOT • SICK & TIRED • JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD • CHILLS & FEVER • FEVER & CHILLS • CHILLS WITHOUT FEVER • FEVER WITHOUT CHILLS • SMALL POX • MEDIUM POX • LARGE POX • X-LARGE POX • CHICKEN POX • TUNA POX • ROAST BEEF POX • WHOOPING COUGH • WHOOPING SNEEZE • WHOOPING GIGGLE • WHEEZING • SNEEZING • FREEZING • MUMPS • BUMPS • LUMPS • BAD EYES • BAD FEET • BAD BLOOD • BAD BREATH • BAD BACK • BAD ATTITUDE • POOR POSTURE • COWARDICE • TRENCH MOUTH • PUFFY SKIN • COMPLETE PARALYSIS • ENLARGED PORES • OUT OF BREATH • ARM HURTS • BAD JUDGMENT • DUMB LOOK • OUT OF SORTS • BRUISE EASILY • WIND KNOCKED OUT OF YOU • SEEIN’ THINGS • THE BLAHS • THE HOTS • THE RUNS • THE CREEPS • THE WILLIES • THE SHITS • THE VAPORS • THE BENDS • THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES • SHOCK • TREMOR • RELAPSE • BOTULISM • LEPROSY • GANGOSA • CANCER OF THE FIST • JUNGLE ROT • THE CREEPIN’ CRUD • THE 48-YEAR CREEPIN’ JESUS • MANGE • GRUNGE • SORE TITS • JET LAG • ROOT CANAL • FACIAL TICS • POOR BALANCE • LOCKJAW • CHARLEY HORSE • EUPHORIA • PRICKLY HEAT • PEELING • MISCARRIAGE • CROW’S FEET • CROW’S LEGS • SLOPPY DICTION • OVERBITE • UNDERBITE • SIDE EFFECTS • DOUBLE LIMP • SCABBY KNEE • TONE DEAFNESS • LOUD HEART • POSTNASAL DRIP • PRENASAL DRIP • JAMMED THUMB • COMA • KNOCK KNEES • STRETCH MARKS • FAT LIP • BLACK EYE • BUM LEG • OVERSIZE BIRTHMARK • STRAWBERRY • SPRING FEVER • FORGETFULNESS • SQUINTING • SURGICAL BLUNDER • FACIAL HAIR • PLAGUE • ADHESIONS • SUNSTROKE • BAD GENES • SCRAWNINESS • CROSSED NOSTRILS • CALLUSES • PREMATURE EJACULATION • STARVATION • SEEING STARS • NERVOUS BREAKDOWN • CORNS • ORGAN REJECTION • SWELLING • BLOODY NOSE • CATATONIA • BAGS UNDER THE EYES • FRECKLE LOSS • NO URINE • BIG EARS • BAD COLD • FREDDIE’S DISEASE • NO TORSO • SUICIDE • HEN TOOTH • NATURAL CAUSES • CHRONIC PUSSY FARTS • ONDINE’S CURSE • PULLED GROIN MUSCLE • CHAFING • COLD SORES • SPLIT LIP • ACHES & PAINS • TRICK KNEE • TRICK NOSE • TRICK DICK • SLEEPING SICKNESS • LOBOTOMY • NIGHTMARES • PIGEON TOES • DOUBLE CHIN • SHYNESS • WINDBURN • CHRONIC LETHARGY • HOT FLASHES • DOUBLE VISION • CANCER OF THE JOWLS • CLUBFOOT • EXCESS EAR WAX • SUFFOCATION • REALLY GROSS SKIN • FALLING NOSE HAIRS • INFECTED TATTOOS • GUNSHOT WOUNDS • ELASTIC POISONING • UNPROVOKED WEEPING • DISLOCATED CROTCH • COMPLETE HAIRLESSNESS • NINE MILE FEVER • MIGRATING BEAUTY MARK • UNDESCENDED TESTICLE • CHICKEN BREASTEDNESS • BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION • GHOST LIMBS • INDUSTRIAL DEAFNESS • HAMMERTOE • DOUBLE RECTUM • FALLEN WOMB • INVERTED NIPPLES • OUT-OF-CONTROL MOLES • TRANSIENT SLURRED SPEECH • WATER ON THE PROFILE • SALINE DEPLETION • GENDER AGONY • NEGATIVE BUOYANCY • CURVATURE OF THE MIND • INFECTED DIMPLE • BURNED AT THE STAKE • BUBONIC PLAGUE • BLACK DEATH • MORNING SICKNESS • SUBDURAL HEMATOMA • GRAND MAL SEIZURE • SPASTIC BLADDER • BRAIN TUMOR • NIPPLE SEEP • DRY TEETH • SIX-FOOT NOSE HAIRS • PASSED BALLS • MIDNASAL DRIP • CHAPPED ASS • SPEAR WOUNDS • TONSILLITIS • CLAP • CRUCIFIXION • TOTAL BODY DIMPLING • FEAR OF CLOTHING • SINGLE NOSTRIL • HORSE SERUM SENSITIVITY •COKE BOTTLE IN THE ASS • HEN WORKERS LUNG • SEXTUPLE AMPUTEEISM • HEREDITY FRUCTOSE INTOLERANCE • MORTON’S FOOT • HUTCHINSON’S FRECKLE • ORIENTAL NIGHTMARE DEATH SYNDROME • RUM FITS • LIDOCAINE POISONING • IRREGULAR GAIT • GENITAL MEASLES • SPRAINED MIND • ICHTHYOSIS • LACK OF HUSTLE • HYPERDYDROSIS • FROTHING AT THE CROTCH • ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE • WET BRAIN • PRESENILITY DEMENTIA • LAETRILE OVERDOSE • MUNCHAUSEN’S SYNDROME • PAVEMENT BURN • NASAL HERPES • CLUSTER HEADACHES • HUNCHBACK • VAGINAL CLOSURE • CANCER OF THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE • CIRCUMCISION BLUNDER • SEVERE UNREMITTING PAIN • COMPLETE NERVOUS COLLAPSE • SIXTY-YEAR COMA • RIGOR MORTIS • DECAPITATION • SWIMMER’S ITCH • BEEF TAPEWORM • SHORT-LIMBED DWARFISM • TICK-BORNE RICKETS • KOPLIK’S SPOTS • IMPETIGO • GAS GANGRENE • TRANSVERSE MYELITIS • MALNUTRITION • IRRITABILITY • NONPRODUCTIVE COUGH • SIMPLE MALAISE • EPIDEMIC KERATOCONJUNCTIVITIS • FURIOUS RABIES • BLACK VOMIT • DANDY FEVER • EUROPEAN TYPHUS • BRILL-ZINSSER DISEASE • CAT SCRATCH DISEASE • STITCH ABSCESSES • STRAWBERRY TONGUE • PASTIA’S LINES • AFRICAN SLEEPING SICKNESS • WOOLSORTER’S DISEASE • CAULIFLOWER EAR • ZUCCHINI NOSE • PARACOCCIDIO IDOMYCOSIS • DESERT RHEUMATISM • LUMPY JAW • MADURA FOOT • HOOKWORM • ORIENTAL SORE • ALEPPO BOIL • FOREST YAWS • SWIMMING POOL GRANULOMA • CARDIAC DEATH • WHIPWORM INFECTION • GEOPHAGIA • RIVER BLINDNESS • TOTAL COLLAPSE • JEWELRY RASH • TERMINAL BROWSING • MAIDENLY HYSTERICS • MARROW FAILURE • PICA • RIBOFLAVIN DEFICIENCY • MEDITERRANEAN ANEMIA • AIR EMBOLISM • VASCULAR FRAGILITY • DRUG-INDUCED PLATELET DEFECTS • FELTY’S SYNDROME • BOWEL INFARCTION • TETRALOGY OF FALLOT • BUNDLE BRANCH BLOCK • SUDDEN MEGACOLON • RAYNAUD’S PHENOMENON • YOUNG ORIENTAL FEMALE DISEASE • INTESTINAL APOPLEXY • OCCLUSION AT THE BIFURCATION • MILK LEG • HOMAN’S SIGN • CONSTANT SCREAMING • TOTAL BODY HEMORRHAGING • MISSING LUNGS • EXTRA STOMACH • LARVAE IN THE STOOL • BEBOP LEGS • FOREHEAD TRANSPLANT • TUMOR ON THE BUNS • HUGE SPLEEN • CHRONIC FALLING • CYSTS ON THE WRISTS • PULMONARY LEPROSY • ANAL PERTUSSIS • SUDDEN TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS • PULMONARY ENFECULATION